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Part 126 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings


WIFE : You have known me since before we got married. What changes do you see in me ? 

HUBBY : Before we were married you were a " Chic "

Wife : And now ?
Hubby : Chic chic, chic chic, chic chic ....... 😂😁

*********

*💐The reason why a seesaw was made for two people is that when you go down, there would always be someone to lift you up again !*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦
*🌷Every Phase of Our Life,  is bound to Teach us Something Valuable. But It Depends on whether we Analyze the Lessons or just Turn the Pages.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦
*🌹Galti Nikalne ke Liye, "BHEJA" chahiye PAR Galti Kabul Karne ke Liye, "KALEJA" Chahiye.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦
*🍁Evry1 wants Hapines. No1 needs Pain. But Its not posible 2get Rainbw widout a Litle Rain. Thats Life. So enjoy evry drop of Water either from SKY or EYE.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦

💦Everyone may not be nice but there is something nice in everyone...Never keep a fixed image for everyone.. Because..People act differently with different people..

*********

*Scooby Doo:* Taught Me to never be Afraid.

*Tom & Jerry:* Taught Me Friendship.

*J.I.Joe:* Taught Me Team Work.

*Alladin:* Taught Me Nothing Is Impossible!

*Mickey Mouse:* Taught Me to love

*Chip N Dale:* Taught Me, No Matter How Small U r, U Cn Still Rock On.

*Richie Rich:*Taught Me to never Feel Immorally Proud.

*Dexter:* Taught Me that Science Is Fun.

*Mr.Bean:* Taught Me to Make Everyone Laugh.

*The World Calls Them Cartoons...*

*But I Think they Were The Best Teachers In The World..!!*

*********

What do you call a bee that comes from America?

USB

No claps please!😄😄
 
What do you call a lady who drinks only one tea in a day?

Jaswanti

One More ☝😁

Why don't people clap in Afghanistan?

Because of 'Tali-ban'!😀

 Acha ek aur ☝😁

How do you ask your 'Maasi' to take a dip in water?

Diplomacy!😀😀

Ye wala last ☝😁

How do you say "she is calling a cab" in one word?

Vocabulary!😜😁

Ye wala ek dum last☝ 

Which Pakistani cricketer does not have a date of birth?

Umar Gul..

😝😝 Bonus One

What you call a fat girl waiting at the Bus Stop.

Simple its - MOTIVATING.
😀😁😂😂😝 ... 😜

*********

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged 

Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ? 

(This is called "Positive Thinking" 😄😄)

Lady to her dietitian :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doc :- How come???

Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜

(Now this is called "Positive Attitude" 👍)

A Man wrote to SBI. "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".

(This is self confidence in its peak 😂😂)
😝😝😝😝😝😝
 This one is classic !!

A cockroach's last words to a man who wanted to kill it : "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You're just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!" 😅😅😅

*********

*🌹Never be dependent to anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦
*🌺Everyday starts with some Expectations but Everyday ends with some Experience. Experience teaches us to manage expectations.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦
*🍀A whisper in your ear, a flutter in your heart, a hand on your shoulder, Listen for it, God is always speaking to us.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦
*🌷Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦

*********

*Height of Innocence* ...

*A man reaches hospital with a fractured leg...*

*There he finds another man with both his legs fractured...*

*Expressing deep empathy, he asks him:*

*"TWO WIVES..!!??"*

😂😂.......

*********

*💐Never Give Up is considered to be the foundation of success. But ironically, to succeed you have to begin by giving up on all your excuses.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦
*🌹Winners recognize their limitations but focus on their strengths where as losers know their strengths but focus on their weaknesses.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦
*🌷Never give up. Great things happen to people who have the courage to go against the tide and win, no matter how long it takes.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦
*🌺Surround yourself with people who push you and encourage you to never give up, even if their words sound unrealistic.  These are the people you will thank when you finally succeed.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎈💦💧💦💧💦

*********

Beautiful answers 👍👍👍

Daughter: What is Marriage?

Mom: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown Male child who cannot be handled by his Parents anymore"...😱😏😜

Changed version in market

Son: What is Marriage?

Father: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown Female child whose Expenses cannot be handled by her Parents anymore"...😝😂😜

*********

पप्पू लड़की देखने गया..



लड़की का बाप : बेटा, शराब पीते हो ??


पप्पू : वो बाद में..पहले चाय बनवा दो...

🖖😁...

*********

एक शाराबी और औरत के बीच झगड़ा हो गया 
.
शाराबी: तू मोटी, काली कलूटी, दांतली कही की .
.
.
औरत: तू नशेडी , शाराबी कही का .
.
.
शाराबी जोर जोर से हंसने लगा और बोला,
मैं तो कल  सुबह ठीक हो जाऊगा पर
 तू सारी ऊमर ऐसी ही रहेगी...........
😀😀😁😁😂😂😂😂

*********

Wife : I am going out for couple of hours.....do you want anything ? 

Husband : That's all I want....

😏😏

*********

😄एक आदमी ने अपनी बीवी को सुनामी की लहरो में खो दिया,
एक दिन समुन्दर किनारे खड़ा था..!
लहर उसके पैरो को छू रही थी..!

अचानक वह बोल पड़ा :-

देखो समुन्दर भाई कितने भी पैर पकड़ो मैं अपनी बीवी को वापिस लेने वाला नहीं हूँ तुम्हारी गलती थी अब तुम ही निप्टो..!😜

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

*********

आज का ज्ञान :

एक अच्छी बीवी उस पेपरवेट की तरह होती है।

जो पति को फड़फड़ाने तो देती है
पर उड़ने नहीं देती....

😂😂😂

*********

In a Nursery School Canteen...

There's a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-)

"Do not take more than one, God is watching"

On the other counter there's a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
"Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples"...

NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today's Generation..!.! 😜😜

*********

*💐If We want to maintain true relation with someone, always believe in what we Know about them, Not in what we Heard about them.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦
*🌹Winners dont do different things, they do things differently.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦
*🌷The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦
*🌺Positive Thinking Is an Investment which Gives Regular Dividend In The Form Of "SELF" CONFIDENCE. Start Your Day With Positive Thinking.*
💦💧💦💧💦🎉💦💧💦💧💦


*********

*STRICTLY FOR MEN ONLY*

*When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.*😆😆😆🤣😂
_~By Lee Majors_

*After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.* 🤣😤😂
 _~By Al Gore_

*By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.*🤔🤣😤😂
 _~By Socrates_ 

*Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.* 🤣😤😂
 _~By Mike Tyson_

*The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?*🤣😤😂
 _~By George Clooney_ 

*I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.* 😄😂😤🤣
 _~By Bill Clinton_

*"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays."*😤😤😂 
 _~By George W. Bush_ 

*"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."* 🤣😤😂
 _~By Rudy Giuliani_ 

*"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!*🤣😂😂
 _~By Donald Trump_ 

*Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming*🤔😤
 *1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,*
 *2. Whenever you're right, shut up.* 
 _~By Shaquille O’Neal_

*The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.*😱😰👊🏻😤🤣😂
 _~By Kobe Bryant_ 

*You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.*😉😤😂
 _~By David Hasselhoff_

*My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.*😜🤣
 _~By Alec Baldwin_ 

*A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.*😂
 _~By Barack Obama_ 

*Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.*😤😂
 _~By Tommy Lee_

*A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.  They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."*😂
 _~By Brad Pitt_

*First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"*
*Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."* 😤🤣
 _~ By Jimmy Kimmel_

*“First there is the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes SuffeRing!*🤣😤😂
 _~By Jay Leno_

*"The reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a Wife"*🤣😤😂
 _~By Brandon Breezy_

*Forward this to all the guys to give them a good laugh .......and to the ladies with good sense of humour who can handle it!!!!!!!😀😀😀*

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