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Part 106 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings


Cracker of d day.

Someone asked an old man, “At 70yrs, u still call ur wife . …Darling.., jaan…, janu…., sweety…, baby…., Honey….., Luv….!!!!” What is the secret of this love??? 
Dhamaaka answer by Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago…….. & I’m scared to ask her.

********* 😄😷😜😜 Sing this just like Bru advertisement in Kannada..... Ondu muggalli 90 Mathondaralli soda Swalpa neeru serisi Eega mix aarambhisi Ee muggininda aa muggige saviyiri tasty whiskey Theladi alli illi! 😂😂😂🍻🍻🍻

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When I reached Office, I got a call from my Wife... "What is the date today?" .. I was wondering.....then told her "12th September"...call disconnected...! I was wondering..... Her Birthday? No... Mine...? No... ! Anniversary...? No..! Son's Birthday ...? No...! In-laws Birthday /Anniversary... No...! Gas booking..done...Utility Payments done... Money for experiences given ... Her Uncle who arrives when we want to go out, sqat and kill us and our time...his Birthday ...? No... ! Then? Why date??? Lunch and evening Tea went with spinning questions...reached home... Junior was playing in the Lawn. Asked him....how is the weather in Kitchen? Tornado... Tsunami???... Boy told " All normal. Why?".. " Your mom asked me..'what is the date today' in the morning"... Boy smiled and told me... " I tore some sheets from Calendar in the morning...she was confused..". ... Being Husband is really a tough Job 😀😅😂

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*Amazingly laughable*!                
*😷Height of Fashion 👳*
Lungi with a zip.

*😐Height of Laziness 😪*
Asking lift for morning walk.

*😱Height of Craziness 😉*
Get blank paper xerox.

*😜Height of Honesty 😌*
Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets.
 
*👼Height of De-Hydration 😔*
Cow giving milk powder.

*👍Height of Hope 😒*
A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.

*😫Height of Stupidity 😵*
Looking through key hole of a glass door.

*😎Height of Suicide Attempt 😲*
A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.

 *😈Height of Attitude 😏*
A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
Please Do not make noise by dropping coins!!
Use Currency notes.

*😃Height Of Work Pressure 😤*
An Employee Opens His Tiffin Box On The Road Side To See,Whether He Is Going To office, Or Coming Back From office.
*********

Once IT Engineer was travelling by train in A/c class.  He was traveling from Konkan to Pune! 

He was traveling alone! 

Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth! 

IT Engineer was pleasantly Happy!

The lady kept smiling at him!  This made IT Engineer even more Happy!

Then she went and sat next to him! 

IT Engineer was bubbling with Joy! 

She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me 
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are  harassing and misbehaving with me" 

IT Engineer stared blankly at her!

He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I  can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say" 


The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him! 

IT Engineer took her note, kept it in his pocket! 

He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"

_*MORAL OF THE STORY : DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*_

😄😀😄
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What’s your managerial style: like Lord Ram or Lord Krishna? Nice one... Read on..

In Hindu mythology there are two great epics. One is called Ramayan and other is called Mahabharata. The centre story of both these books is around victory of good on evil. In one story Lord Ram leads his army to defeat Ravana in his land,
While in the second Lord Krishna oversees Pandavas defeat Kauravas in the battle at Kurushektra.

In Ramayan, Lord Ram is the best yodhaa of his side.
He leads his army from the front. Strategizes & directs different people to do things which will meet the objectives. His people are happy to follow orders & want to get all the appreciation for being the best executors. Lord Ram set direction & also tells people what to do during difficult times.

Ultimately they won the war & the final outcome was achieved.

On the other hand Lord Krishna told Arjuna, I won’t fight the battle. I won’t pick up any weapon; I would only be there on ur chariot as a charioteer. And he did what he said. He never picked up the weapon & he never fought.

Still, Pandavas won the war & final outcome was achieved.

So, what was different? It was their managerial style & it was also the type of people who were being lead.
Lord Ram was leading an army of ‘MONKEYS’ who were not skilled fighters & they were looking for direction. While on other hand, 

Lord Krishna was leading Arjuna who was one of the best archer of his time. While Lord Ram’s role was to show it & lead from the front, 

Krishna played the role of a coach whose job was to remove cobwebs from his protégée’s mind. Krishna couldn't teach Arjuna archery but he could definitely help him see things from a very different perspective.

Here are some of the basic differences in two styles:
Lord Ram- A skilled warrior, lead monkeys, was emotional, gave precise roles & instructions, motivated the army to fight for his cause

Lord Krishna: works with best the professionals, provides strategic clarity, allows team members to take lead, fights for the cause of the team, did not depict his true emotions

Look at ur team/family & reflect what type of leader/parent u are, One who keeps answering/solving problems for people/kids  Or Who asks relevant questions from their people/kids so that they can find their own solution.

Are u someone who tells/directs all the time  Or
Someone who clarifies doubts & allows their people/kids to find their own ways.

Are u someone who has monkeys in the team & the way u deal with it Or u have the brightest experts in their area getting stuck with issues?  

Younger generation doesn't want you to tell or show how things are done, they want to know the meaning of their task and how it makes a difference in this world.

They are Arjuna’s who don’t necessarily seek more skill/knowledge but they need someone to clarify the cobwebs in their mind, if u still apply Lord Ram’s style on them, u are bound to fail as a manager.

On the other hand if there are people who aren't skilled enough but rely on ur expertise to sail u through Lord Ram’s style is appropriate.

Isn't it good for us to reflect & think what managerial style will bring the best result for u and ur team/family ?

Is it Lord Ram or Lord Krishna?

The Managing Leader vs the Coaching Leader!

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The great mathematician, Aryabhatta, once asked his wife, "Will you let me go out alone & enjoy with my friends over every weekend, every month?"

Wife: What is the Probability of me saying yes as per your calculation ?

That's when Aryabhatta discovered Zero 😂😂😂

*********


*ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ ಮಗು ಅಳುವುದು ಯಾಕೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ....?*

ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ ತಿಳಿದುಕೊಳ್ಳಿ....  ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ ಮಗು ತುಂಬ ಅಳುವುದನ್ನು ನೀವು ನೋಡಿರುತ್ತೀರ...

ಈ ಮಗು ಯಾಕೆ ಅಳುತ್ತದೆ ಎಂದು ಕಾರಣಾಂತರಗಳಿಂದ ತಿಳಿದುಕೊಳ್ಳಾಗದಿರಬಹುದು. ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ ತಕ್ಷಣ ಮಗು ಯಾಕೆ ಅಳುತ್ತದೆಂದರೆ....

ತಾಯಿ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಾಗ ಆ 9-10 ತಿಂಗಳು   ಲಯಬದ್ಧವಾಗಿ ಕೇಳಿಸುವ ತಾಯಿಯ ಹೃದಯ ಬಡಿತವನ್ನು ಕೇಳುತ್ತಾ ಹಾಗೆ ತನ್ಮಯಗೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿತ್ತು. ಆ ಶಬ್ದದಲ್ಲಿ ತನ್ನನ್ನು ತಾನು ಮರೆತು ಆ ಶಬ್ದವೇ ತನಗೆ ರಕ್ಷಣೆಯೆಂದು ಭಾವಿಸಿರುತ್ತದೆ.

ಹೊರ ಪ್ರಪಂಚಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದ ಮೇಲೆ ಆ ಶಬ್ದ ದೂರವಾಗಿ ತನಗೆ ಏನೋ ಆಗುತ್ತಿದೆ ಎಂಬ ಭಯದಿಂದ ಬಿಕ್ಕಿ ಬಿಕ್ಕಿ ಅಳಲು ಪ್ರಾರಂಭಿಸುತ್ತದೆ ಆ ಮಗು.....!

ಹಾಗೆ ಅಳುವ ಮಗು ತಾಯಿ ಮಡಿಲು ಸೇರಿದ ತಕ್ಷಣ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸುವುದನ್ನು ಗಮನಿಸಬಹುದು.... ತಾಯಿ ತನ್ನನ್ನು ಹತ್ತಿರ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಂಡ ತಕ್ಷಣ ಮತ್ತೆ ಅದೇ ಹೃದಯ ಬಡಿತದ ಶಬ್ದ ಕೇಳಿ ತನಗೆ ಯಾವುದೇ ಭಯವಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು ಆ  ಮಗು ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತದೆ...!

ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ತಾಯಿ ಮೇಲೆ ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಮಗುವಿಗೆ ಎಷ್ಟು ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಅಲ್ವಾ....?!!
ತಾಯಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ, ಅನುರಾಗಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಟಿಯಿಲ್ಲ. ಕೊನೆಗೆ ತನ್ನ ಹೃದಯ ಬಡಿತ ಕೂಡ ಮಗುವಿಗೇ....!!

 ಚಿಂತಿಸುವವರಿಗೆ ಚಿಕ್ಕವನಿಂದ ಚಿಕ್ಕದೊಂದು ಮಾತು.........

👏 ಇದನ್ನು ವರ್ಗಾವಣೆ (ಶೇರು) ಮಾಡುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಜಿಪುಣತನ ತೋರದಿರಿ....

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