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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 83

👩🏼ಸೊಸೆ: ಹಲೋ..
👵🏻ಅತ್ತೆ: ಹಲೋ ನಾನಮ್ಮ, ನಿನ್ನ ಅತ್ತೆ.. ಚನಾಗಿದಿಯಾ? 👩🏼ಸೊಸೆ: ನಾನ್ ಸೂಪರ್... ನೀವು ? 👵🏻ಅತ್ತೆ: ನಾನೂ ಚನಾಗಿದೀನಮ್ಮ .. ನನ್ ಮಗ 👨🏼 ಹೆಂಗಿದಾನೆ ? 👩🏼ಸೊಸೆ: ಅವ್ರಾ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿದಾರೆ 🏥🚑🤕🤒.. 👵🏻ಅತ್ತೆ: ಅಯ್ಯಯೋ 😱 ಏನಾಯ್ತು ನನ್ ಮಗನಿಗೆ ?? 😨😭 👩🏼ಸೊಸೆ: ಅದಾ, ನಿನ್ನೆ ಆಫೀಸ್ ಇಂದ ಬರ್ತಿದ್ಹಾಗೆ,🚗 'ಲೇ ಏನಾದರೂ ಇದ್ರೆ ಕೊಡೆ, ಹೊಟ್ಟೇಲಿ ಇಲಿಗಳು🐀🐀🐀 ಓಡಾಡ್ತಿದಾವೆ' ಅಂದ್ರು.. ಅತ್ತೆ👵🏻: ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ನೀನೇನ್ಮಾಡ್ದೆ?? 😰😨 ಸೊಸೆ: ನಾನ್ ಇಲಿ ಪಾಶಾಣನ ಕಾಫಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ☕ ಬೆರಸಿ ತಂದು ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ.. ಈಗ ICU ನಲ್ಲಿ ದಾರೆ.. ಸರಿ ಹೋಗ್ತಾರೆ ಬಿಡಿ.. 😏🤗😇

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😛😜😂😂😂
AIDS WARNING !
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this is specially for you...
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS !!!
YES, AIDS...
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
Its good to see you smile and do pass it on to others, so that they can smile too!

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ಸವಿ ನುಡಿ

ಕೋಪದಿಂದ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ ಗುಣವನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ.

ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ.

ಅನಗತ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ ಕೆಲಸವನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ.

ಅಹಂಕಾರದಿಂದ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ.
 
ಸುಳ್ಳು ಸುಳ್ಳು ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ
ಹೆಸರು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ.

ವೇಗವಾಗಿ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ ಅಥ್ರವನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ

ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಗಳಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ..

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🌺 ಜೀವನ ರಥ ಸಾಗುವ ಪಥ 🌺

🍀 ಪರಮಾತ್ಮನಲ್ಲಿ ಪೂರ್ಣ ನಿಷ್ಠೆ
🍀 ಜ್ಞಾನದಲ್ಲಿ ಪರಿಪೂರ್ಣತೆ
🍀 ಆಹಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಾತ್ವಿಕತೆ
🍀 ದೃಷ್ಟಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪವಿತ್ರತೆ
🍀 ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಶಾಲತೆ 
🍀 ಬುದ್ಧಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ದಿವ್ಯತೆ 
🍀 ಸೇವೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಮ್ರತೆ 
🍀 ಸ್ನೇಹದಲ್ಲಿ ಪರಿಶುದ್ಧತೆ 
🍀 ಕರ್ಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಶಲತೆ 
🍀 ವ್ಯವಹಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಭ್ಯತೆ 
🍀 ಮುಖದಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಸನ್ನತೆ 
🍀 ಸಾಧನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ದೃಢತೆ 
🍀 ಯೋಗದಲ್ಲಿ ತನ್ಮಯತೆ 
🍀 ಆಚಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ವಚ್ಛತೆ 
🍀 ವಿಚಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಶ್ರೇಷ್ಠತೆ 
🍀 ಪರಿವಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಏಕತೆ 
🍀 ಸಂಸ್ಕಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಶುದ್ಧತೆ 
🍀 ಮಾತಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮಧುರತೆ 
🍀 ಸಂಬಂಧದಲ್ಲಿ ನಿರ್ಲಿಪ್ತತೆ 
🍀 ಬದುಕಿನಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಶ್ಚಿಂತತೆ 
🍀 ಕಾರ್ಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಫಲತೆ 
🍀 ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಗುರತೆ

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The sharing of marriage... 

The old man placed an order for one plain hamburger, French fries and a drink. 

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. 

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. 

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything. 

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. 

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?' 

She answered

.....
......
......
 
 
 

'THE TEETH. 😂😂

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Worlds 8  superb  sentences

            Shakespeare.👌
Never  play  with the feelings of  others  because  you may win the  game but the  risk is that  you  will surely  lose  the person  for a  life time.

             Napoleon.👌
The world  suffers  a  lot. Not because  of  the  violence  of bad people, But because   of the silence of good people!

                Einstein.👌
I  am  thankful  to  all those who  said  NO  to  me   It's because  of  them  I  did  it myself.

            Abraham Lincoln.👌
If friendship is your weakest point  then  you  are  the strongest  person  in the world.          

          Shakespeare.👌
Laughing  faces  do  not mean that  there is  absence of sorrow!  But it means that they  have the ability to deal with it. 

           William  arthur.👌
Opportunities   are  like sunrises, if  you  wait too long  you  can miss them. 


                Hitler.👌
When  you  are  in  the light,
Everything follows  you, But when  you  enter  unto   the dark, Even your own shadow doesn't  follow  you.

              Shakespeare.👌
Coin  always  makes  sound but  the  currency  notes are always  silent.  So  when  your value  increases  keep quiet.


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To all liquor loverzzzz:

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
- George Burns

I envy people who drink. At least they know what to blame everything on.
~Oscar Levant

I take a drink only on two occasions, when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
~Brendan Behan

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy! 
~Frank Sinatra

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~Winston Churchill

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!
-Kinky Friedman

Dear Alcohol, 
We had a deal, you were going to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
-Anonymous

I used to think, drinking was bad for me. So I gave up thinking.
-Anonymous

I would date you, but my heart already belongs to Johnny Walker.
-Anonymous

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
-Anonymous

You look like I need another drink!  
-Anonymous

I say 'NO' to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen.

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